I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
try to milk me bitch
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