Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
