Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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