why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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