if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
