Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
