Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
