Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing