okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
