I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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