Can Purell be used as lube?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
