He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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