Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
