White coat. Heels.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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