so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
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Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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