i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
