Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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