are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
