@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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