Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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