This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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