Screwed.edu
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
