im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
