You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Randomize
