guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize