Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
