i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
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