I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize