I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
