Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The air was thick with penises
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
