Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
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I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
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We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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