That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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