I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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