I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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