im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize