dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
