check it out our google latitudes are spooning
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
