Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
