whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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