I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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