he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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