I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize