I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize