Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
