there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
operation harelip BJ is a go
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
