Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
