my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
