ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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