I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
