I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
