There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize