Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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