My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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