Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
