white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
