Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
