i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
