They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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