So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize