we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
