so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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