Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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